September Is the New January

Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle.

-Marie Kondo

This week I hit a wall - the great wall of Jaime. With so much time spent reflecting, processing, examining and critiquing myself and my own “unbecoming,” I burned out. I became absolutely sick of myself. I needed to escape from my own head. The deeper I dig into myself, the more I see what needs work. Wouldn’t it be nice if self-improvement was like the HGTV shows? Flip this Woman. Love Her or List Her. What a dream to start a project on myself, hit a few bumps along the road, then tie up all the loose ends in thirty minutes! Instead, I have cracked open Pandora’s box and now found that I don’t currently have the energy to put it all back together again.

Last week, over our usual work lunch of chicken, roasted okra, apples and almond butter, my close friend and editor said I usually write with a “coachy,” I-have-it-all-figured-out voice (she did not intend this as a compliment). She knows the truth. I am a hot mess. Just today, I ugly, snot-nosed cried on the way to a lunch meeting. I am sick of thinking and talking about myself. I can only write what I want to read, and it turns out I am also sick of reading about myself.

This unbecoming of my unbecoming should not be viewed as a lack of self-esteem or a cry for attention. I am perfectly happy with myself in plenty of areas of my life. I am even quite proud of many of my accomplishments. I am not in some deep pit of despair and self-pity; I am just taking some space from myself. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, declares that September is the new January, a clean slate full of opportunity for newness. Perhaps I am craving this fresh palette in my world. It might be time to declutter a bit - September Cleaning.

The “spark joy” simplification trend based on the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo says we should hold things in our hands and see what brings us true joy and keep only those things. I have no desire to pick up everything in my house or life. I cannot even stomach going into our attic. We have unopened boxes hauled from address to address: baby toys and clothes, pictures, family heirlooms, and so many books. There is just too much stuff, and as I already mentioned, I am tired. But I can identify certain treasures in my home that bring me joy and might be worth highlighting for my September purge.

If I were to run through my house collecting things that brought me joy, I would end up with these things, in no particular order:

• Dried fresh lavender in a mason jar
• My bed and all my pillows
• InstaPot (how did I ever cook without it?)
• Dining room table made from mango trees
• Jason Mraz vinyl
• Nut butter (the tiny Justine’s packets bring me great joy, despite the need for constant kneading)
• Rainboots
• Fenway the Labradoodle
• Elephant pants
• Homemade coconut oil body butter from my friend/neighbor/workout partner
• Dixie, my barbell
• Birthday and family picture books
• Brent's beard
• Books
• Diffuser
• Elephant lunch bag (I’m in an elephant phase at the moment, don’t judge)
• French press and fresh coffee beans

I guess if I were to ever restart with only a few carefully selected possessions, I would begin this new life as an elephant pants wearing, coconut oiled, caffeinated woman with her dog and assorted nut butters. There would be music, relaxation, food, exercise, rich memories and company (assuming my husband has to come along with his beard). It’s possible these objects represent everything I would need. Yes, I agree with Rubin. September is my new January, and rainboots are precisely the practical and liberating choice for taking that first step beyond this wall.  (Said in my coachiest coach voice).