The Final Frontier
There are so many tiny revolutions in a life, a million ways we have to circle around ourselves to grow and change and be okay. And perhaps the body is our final frontier. Most women and some men spend their lives trying to alter it, hide it, prettify it, make it what it isn’t, or conceal it for what it is. But what if we didn’t do that? What’s on the other side of the tiny gigantic revolution in which you move from loathing to loving your own skin? What fruits would that particular liberation bear?
Learning to be comfortable in our skin is a life goal for most of us. If we want to live a happy life, we must take care of this one body we were given to live in while we walk this earth. The human body is amazing and resilient. It’s amazing to think that my 5’4” frame has grown and birthed two children, supplied their earliest nutrition, and healed from numerous broken bones. I am also surprised and excited when my body lifts weights and sets new personal records in my lifting. It is no secret that the barbell is my favorite part of CrossFit. I get to celebrate with new numbers and the knowledge that I can literally move more weight than the day before. CrossFit provides an outlet where I can be proud of what my body can do, not how it looks.
I read somewhere that it is hard to be mad at your body when you are busy using it to do amazing things. It is difficult for me to hate my body when it is lifting heavy objects or pulling me up on a bar. When I am out hiking and climbing a mountain, I do not stop to berate my heavy squatting legs; I am too busy using them. Shifting my perspective to acknowledge my body’s work capacity over appearance has given me great space and opportunity to put this body to the test and LIVE in my skin rather than try to hide it.
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| During the 2015 CrossFit Open. Photo by Kristie Hamilton. |
Human bodies are meant to be used. If we use them, it will probably show. Our muscles will tone up. Things will tighten. Some parts will shrink and some will grow. There will be scars. Living leaves a mark on us all. It is beautiful to see the human body in its full splendor - rippling muscles, dripping sweat and all. We were not born to be still and stagnant. However, as Rosie Molinary reminds us in Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self Acceptance, “Our bodies are not who we are...we are a compilation of our heart, soul, and our mind.” So when I am admiring a strong, healthy woman, I am actually admiring that glow radiating from within. There is an air about someone when they are working to improve themselves. When asked to define beauty, most people use internal qualities. Kindness, determination, confidence, joy, and intelligence all become part of the definition. Those qualities are what we can see shining through when a person owns his or her body.
Almost every woman who walks into our CrossFit affiliate leads with the infamous line, “I don’t want to get bulky.” Insert eye roll here. Most of them want to lose weight and be skinny, but they do not want to look muscular. In time, I watch and smile as their perspectives start to change. Suddenly, they become interested in how much they can deadlift or how quickly they can get their first pullup. The aesthetic goals drift to the background and tend to happen as a natural consequence of hard work. They become amazed by what their bodies can do, and I have yet to see one of them complain that they became “bulky.”
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| CrossFit Jane women celebrating strength. |
But this shift in perspective must also happen outside of the gym. This week I had a conversation with a fellow CrossFitter who runs ultra marathons. I was praising her for running the entire Creeper Trail as training for an upcoming race. She smiled and said, “Yes, except in all the pictures I look fat.” SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. She ran 34 miles and what she sees in the picture is a “fat girl.” She continued to say she had “those big CrossFit thighs.” I was floored. I got really preachy in a hurry. “How can you not be proud of the incredible journey your body just took you on this weekend? Fat is what you see in that picture? Your daughter is watching you!”
This woman is intelligent, strong, beautiful, and the mother of two amazing children. She just earned her college degree while working a full-time job. She goes to CrossFit four times a week at 5 am. She occasionally runs 100 miles on the weekend for fun. How can she possibly be hateful towards her body? It broke my heart. I work with women every day who I hope can learn to love their bodies for what they can do. We need these bodies to carry the important parts of ourselves through this life. We need them to play with our kids, care for aging parents, and to share adventures with loved ones. My friend lives a big full life accomplishing all these incredible tasks, but she still battles with this uncharted final frontier.
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| My friend at the top of Mt. Democrat, a fourteener in Colorado. |
In a follow up discussion with my ultra-running friend, she said she was heading to the lake for the weekend with her girlfriends. They all agreed to wear bikinis and ban all negative body talk. I would like to think my preaching worked, but maybe the fact that she is having this conversation with her friends and bringing these insecurities out into the open is helping to shift her perspective about her body. I hope we can all openly discuss our fears and learn to conquer this final frontier together. Bring on the revolution.
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