My #nomakeupmovement

“There’s a part of me that likes shoes, and likes dresses, and likes makeup, and likes books, and likes to write. I think that’s the case for many women. But our culture makes us think we have to choose slices of ourselves that we’re comfortable showing the world.” -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

As often happens, our family dinner conversation took a strange turn. We were discussing cultural grooming practices. “Female shaving has been used historically to keep women in a visually infantile and docile state.” This is the kind of statement I will pick up from my colleagues and deliver to my critical, rowdy audience of three as we dine on soup and applesauce. My eleven year old son immediately slapped palm to forehead. “Geez, Mom! Then you might as well be upset that I can run around without a shirt but Lila can’t.” Clearly, my message was received.

We have heard a great deal about women and feminism in the news of late. The media has highlighted concerns of “how we will explain things to our daughters.” Women have also been making waves in the entertainment industry. In a stunning display of natural beauty, Alicia Keys released a new album with her makeup-free face gracing the cover. Her #nomakeupmovement has taken social media by storm. In “Time to Uncover,” her essay for the website Lenny, she explores her epiphany:

“'Cause I don't want to cover up anymore. Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.”

It is a message of empowerment and newfound self-awareness.

I rarely wear makeup myself. It is actually more noteworthy to document days that I do take the time to prep my face for an audience. My hair is only further proof of my unbecoming. My mane is long, unruly and usually in need of a good shampooing but can be pulled together in a big beautiful mess on top of my head. I spend about 80% of my life in workout clothes. If success was based on dress, I would be a sorry disappointment. So, it would be hard to not draw parallels to my life. 

But I don’t think Keys’ message stops at her clean, unfiltered face. She has stripped down her walls of protection and is showing her truth: the good, the bad and the ugly (although I have yet to see anything ugly about her). She has realized the infinite power that comes from learning to listen to herself. She is not going to let society or industry expectations dictate her choices. Her transformation represents ownership and a deliberate seizing of power.

In an article for New York Magazine, Stella Bugbee reflects upon Hillary Clinton’s choice to show her face sans make-up at a post-election press conference after months of wearing a calculated, political mask and hairstyle:

“Obviously, liking lipstick doesn’t disqualify us from participating in feminism or having a career — and it certainly doesn’t distract us from our work or the important issues of the day...But there is no denying the power and freedom in rejecting vanity.”

Power and freedom seem to be an emerging theme. Choice and individual preference rise over societal, cultural or political expectations.

I am not advocating for women to stop shaving or wearing makeup. I am, however, advocating that we stop and consider what drives our choices. Rosie Molinary, friend and author of Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance, goes as far as to say, “Beauty standards are a political issue. If you are obsessed, you are oppressed.” When I am rushing to get dressed and groomed for a day at work, and my nine year old daughter says, “Mom, you care too much what people think,” I feel the need to explain myself. How do I show her young, impressionable mind that it is my choice to look a certain way in my career? I choose to dress in a particular manner when teaching in the classroom, but in most of life, or when I coach at our CrossFit affiliate, I choose a natural look. I consider myself to be a multi-faceted person with many roles, and I am okay showing different sides of myself. It does not necessarily imply that I am hiding my true self in my professional life.

It is incredibly tempting to just toss my makeup and throw scarves over my untamed locks in solidarity with Alicia, all the while belting out, “This girl is on FIY-AH,” but personal grooming preferences are just scratching the surface. The ways I choose to execute my power and freedom should be visible in the fabric of my everyday life. “Just because” or “That is how we have always done it,” simply do not suffice as responses for how we live our lives. I must demand more of myself. For now, I will continue to shave my legs and occasionally wear makeup because that is my choice. It is not necessary for my legs to look like my dad’s in order to pull off some grand gesture of feminism. But I will try to be present and pay better attention to the motivations driving my day to day decisions. I can begin by examining the framework surrounding my role as a woman in our current culture. There is no shortage of issues beckoning analysis. I'm with you, Alicia. Let's uncover some truth.

Alicia Keys. Her album "Here" is now available.

The Final Frontier

The Final Frontier

There are so many tiny revolutions in a life, a million ways we have to circle around ourselves to grow and change and be okay.  And perhaps the body is our final frontier. Most women and some men spend their lives trying to alter it, hide it, prettify it, make it what it isn’t, or conceal it for what it is.  But what if we didn’t do that? What’s on the other side of the tiny gigantic revolution in which you move from loathing to loving your own skin? What fruits would that particular liberation bear?

-Cheryl Strayed

Learning to be comfortable in our skin is a life goal for most of us. If we want to live a happy life, we must take care of this one body we were given to live in while we walk this earth. The human body is amazing and resilient. It’s amazing to think that my 5’4” frame has grown and birthed two children, supplied their earliest nutrition, and healed from numerous broken bones. I am also surprised and excited when my body lifts weights and sets new personal records in my lifting. It is no secret that the barbell is my favorite part of CrossFit. I get to celebrate with new numbers and the knowledge that I can literally move more weight than the day before. CrossFit provides an outlet where I can be proud of what my body can do, not how it looks.

I read somewhere that it is hard to be mad at your body when you are busy using it to do amazing things. It is difficult for me to hate my body when it is lifting heavy objects or pulling me up on a bar. When I am out hiking and climbing a mountain, I do not stop to berate my heavy squatting legs; I am too busy using them. Shifting my perspective to acknowledge my body’s work capacity over appearance has given me great space and opportunity to put this body to the test and LIVE in my skin rather than try to hide it.

During the 2015 CrossFit Open. Photo by Kristie Hamilton.

Human bodies are meant to be used. If we use them, it will probably show. Our muscles will tone up. Things will tighten. Some parts will shrink and some will grow. There will be scars. Living leaves a mark on us all. It is beautiful to see the human body in its full splendor - rippling muscles, dripping sweat and all. We were not born to be still and stagnant. However, as Rosie Molinary reminds us in Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self Acceptance, “Our bodies are not who we are...we are a compilation of our heart, soul, and our mind.” So when I am admiring a strong, healthy woman, I am actually admiring that glow radiating from within. There is an air about someone when they are working to improve themselves. When asked to define beauty, most people use internal qualities. Kindness, determination, confidence, joy, and intelligence all become part of the definition. Those qualities are what we can see shining through when a person owns his or her body.   

Almost every woman who walks into our CrossFit affiliate leads with the infamous line, “I don’t want to get bulky.” Insert eye roll here. Most of them want to lose weight and be skinny, but they do not want to look muscular. In time, I watch and smile as their perspectives start to change. Suddenly, they become interested in how much they can deadlift or how quickly they can get their first pullup. The aesthetic goals drift to the background and tend to happen as a natural consequence of hard work. They become amazed by what their bodies can do, and I have yet to see one of them complain that they became “bulky.”

CrossFit Jane women celebrating strength.

But this shift in perspective must also happen outside of the gym. This week I had a conversation with a fellow CrossFitter who runs ultra marathons. I was praising her for running the entire Creeper Trail as training for an upcoming race. She smiled and said, “Yes, except in all the pictures I look fat.” SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. She ran 34 miles and what she sees in the picture is a “fat girl.” She continued to say she had “those big CrossFit thighs.” I was floored.  I got really preachy in a hurry. “How can you not be proud of the incredible journey your body just took you on this weekend? Fat is what you see in that picture? Your daughter is watching you!”

This woman is intelligent, strong, beautiful, and the mother of two amazing children. She just earned her college degree while working a full-time job. She goes to CrossFit four times a week at 5 am. She occasionally runs 100 miles on the weekend for fun. How can she possibly be hateful towards her body? It broke my heart. I work with women every day who I hope can learn to love their bodies for what they can do. We need these bodies to carry the important parts of ourselves through this life. We need them to play with our kids, care for aging parents, and to share adventures with loved ones. My friend lives a big full life accomplishing all these incredible tasks, but she still battles with this uncharted final frontier.

My friend at the top of Mt. Democrat,
a fourteener in Colorado.

Molinary explains, “Our bodies carry our truth around, they are the lenses through which we experience the world, but they are not us. Our true selves are rooted within our bodies.” I need my body, but I am not my body. I don’t walk around labeled as a size of clothing or a number on a scale. I am a heart, soul and mind walking around in a healthy body that I care for and nourish to help me experience this big beautiful life in the best possible way.  I am grateful for my body and the incredible things it allows me to do. I can see a picture of myself and be thankful for the experience and opportunity, not critical of shape, size or imperfections. I can focus on the truth I hope to carry around within my body, not the packaging. I believe this is the “tiny, gigantic revolution” Strayed is describing.

In a follow up discussion with my ultra-running friend, she said she was heading to the lake for the weekend with her girlfriends. They all agreed to wear bikinis and ban all negative body talk. I would like to think my preaching worked, but maybe the fact that she is having this conversation with her friends and bringing these insecurities out into the open is helping to shift her perspective about her body. I hope we can all openly discuss our fears and learn to conquer this final frontier together. Bring on the revolution.